Eli Binkovitz

tw: sexual assault, non-graphic

places i left my body

2006: drunk on wine

on a twin bed.

a movie stars no

from very far away.

wait to see, smell, feel

if he follows. i never

figured that one out.

the hangover started

in my thighs, lasted

my whole twenties. my long-

distance boyfriend spat

the phone at me,

made me promise to stay

away from wine and everybody.

 

2002: ok

these things just happen calm down.

 

2000: something half-audible.

my head turned

eyes pressed

down. i let him

confess me a secret

and drive me to buy

potatoes and milk.

in between pretense

of sleep and potatoes

the air crisped up,

telling me something about

this is my responsibility

but i’m never sure what.

 

1992: i don’t remember feeling anything at all.

the scene is faded among folded sweaters.

 

1990: starts in a fog

of memory, might be a dream.

toy handcuffs. older boys

had the nintendo.

i had the training

wheels taken off

my bike that summer.

i don’t think it was fall yet but

there were ladybugs,

the real ones

with shiny coats

a good red.

 


Eli Binkovitz is a Chicago poet with a BA in German studies from Oberlin college and contributions in a 2007 translation of Thomas Brasch’s collection of poems, Was Ich Mir Wünsche (What I Wish For Myself) from German into English. Their poems have appeared in Rising Phoenix Review, Obra/Artifact, and SWWIM Every Day. They belong to the proud tradition of atheist Jews and their pronoun preference is comrade.


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